Shaving is a drag

~If given the chance, I would destroy you, just so I can help piece you back together again with less of you and more of Him.~ Randomness from a bored person.

Yeah, shaving is kind of a drag. I have to do it so it the rest of my handsome features will match my hair, seeing as short hair and a goatee makes me look like a villain off of a movie. All I need is a black trench coat and be able to slick my hair back. But really...how can you expect a guy to stand in front of a mirror for ten to fifteen minutes, taking a small utensil that has three horizontal blades and drag it across his face while running the risk of slicing his face just so he can remove some hair. Lets be honest, it does make me look handsome, and yeah, looking your best in this day and age is practically something you have to work on, but really? Cutting your face off? Is that beauty? (Hopefully you can sense the sarcastic humor in all of this, but really...shaving sucks.)

And another thing...I have lost too much weight. I am starting to look like an anorexic person...even though I still kinda eat junk and drink soda. Maybe its because of the rice and my body not being used to it...or the lack of beef. Can not trust the beef here. Too risky, not clean enough. But wonderful news: THE JACK-IN-THE-BOX IN KONA WILL BE OPEN WHEN WE GET HOME!!! ULTIMATE BACON CHEESEBURGER, WHAT WHAT!!! I hope my shrunken stomach will be able to handle such awesome glory, because I am going to force it. It will be a stomach ache that is totally worth it.

What else...teaching English soon...and I will be doing some story telling for some kids on the final two fridays we are here. Thanks Jak lol.

Just thought I would rant for everyone because...I feel like it. Miss some friends, can not wait to see them when I get back.

Oh...speaking of getting back, I only have 90 bucks in my bank account and no job. That will be fun! Hahaha.

Laturs

New Update! WWWOOOOAAAAAH!!

So, not much to say I suppose. The orphanage was going pretty well but we ran into a snag, mainly some issues with the people we were dealing with. That went on for a good two weeks, but now the guys have decided to stay back and maybe the girls will continue to go. They have to decide on that.

Meanwhile, there will be an opportunity to teach english at the school we first went to in the beginning! Super awesome I say! Maybe us guys can go there and do a little work for an hour, teach them English, and then do the work that our contact Dave needs us to do around the office. Nothing too big I imagine...

...anyways, starting to listen to more music. Daughters of Jerusalem by David Brymer and Truth of Tomorrow by Machinae Supremacy. One of my favorite metal bands...and it is not heavy metal or screaming people. Just...awesomeness. He did not mean for all music to be bad, so I believe it is the context in which the music is held that should be approached. You know, the heart in it.

Yeah...not much to say really. Miss the other people...miss some certain people...mah homies...yeah...

Would you forgive me?

Context: This has nothing to do with emotions or how I am feeling. I just felt like typing this because...sometimes I feel like writing things down. Geez...

Would you forgive me if I attacked you? Crushed you? Forced you in the dirt? Would you hate me if I destroyed what you were and rebuilt you in to an image of myself? If I took everything about you and fashioned it to my own liking? Would you forgive me if I slandered you, spoke malice behind your back, struck you from behind like a snake with words for venom? Would you forgive me if I made you submit to my will, ceasing to be your own person and being what I wish of you? Yes? No?

Would you be happy I saved your life? Would you smile if I brought you presents? If I placed notes by your bed confessing how I felt about you, even though you already knew? Would you love me if I sacrificed everything for you, changed who I was, crushed myself, destroyed myself, all so I could be what you wanted? If I held you all night long when you were sad? When you were lonely? Would you be happy if I did all these things, made my life to serve you and put you before myself? Yes? No?

Would you forgive me?

Would you hate me?

Would you love me?

Would you be happy?

In the end, all these things do not matter, whether your answer is yes or no. All that matters...is that you would be here. With me. And while you are here, I will serve you. Live my life for you. Do nothing to harm you. Would I crush you? No. But if I did...

...would you forgive me?

Boats and Birds- The Scene Aesthetic

If you'll be my star,
I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me
and come out at night
When I turn jet black
and you show off your light

I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

You can sky rocket away from me
And never come back if you
find another galaxy
Far from here,
with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust
to remember you by

If you'll be my boat,
I'll be your sea
Depth of pure blue
just to proke curiosity
Ebbing and flowing,
and pushed by a breeze

I live to make you free
I live to make you free

And you can set sail to the west
if you want to
Pass the horizon
'til I can't even see you
Far from here,
where the beaches are wide
Just leave me your wake
to remember you by

If you'll be my star,
I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me
and come out at night
When I turn jet black
and you show off your light

I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

You can sky rocket away from me
And never come back if you
find another galaxy
Far from here,
with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust
to remember you by

Stardust to remember you by

So...it has been a rough day.

You can always tell how a day is going to turn out from how well you get out of bed. If you get out quickly and ready to get started with the day, then you know it will be a good one. But, if you end up getting out bed very lazily and practically being late to a scheduled morning event, then you know that the day is going to be very complicated. Well...that sums up today.

Today we found out that eight M-workers and two local Afghans had been shot and killed in one of the northern provinces. The group was providing eye care for that part and were about to finish their three week trip. In fact, the group was supposed to be returning soon, which makes this all the more harder for the people who have now been left behind. Friends and family alike are shocked by the news, as is our own group. It has really opened my eyes to the line of work that I have willingly put myself in. The reality is, things can, and might, happen. All we can do is trust that there is a plan in all of this, and after some deep thinking, I know that there is a bigger thing going.

I just ask that you keep the friends and families of the workers who were killed in your minds as you go on and remember, Life is too short to be dealing with earthly things, so set your eyes higher.

Yours truly,

Reks (My nickname.)